Joke 1
At Giorikas’s house the doorbell broke down and so he called Kostikas to fix it.
But Kostikas didn’t show up. So Giorikas calls him again in anger to complain, and Kostikas says:
- I came you b*thead and rang the doorbell for an hour but no one opened me!
What is a Pontian doing outside a house with a red light???
He’s waiting for it to turn green to get in!!!
A Pontian meets a Vlachos shepherd and says to him:
- If I can guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one?
- Yes, replied the Vlachos.
- You have 1856 sheep.
Vlachos counts his sheep and they really were 1856. The Pontian takes a sheep and leaves. After a while Vlachos meets the Pontian again and asks:
- If I find what tribe you are, will you give it back?
- Yes, replied the Pontian.
- You are Pontian!
- Yes! How did you figure it out? Asks the Pontian.
- Out of 1856 sheep, you took my only dog!!!
Three Pontians were running for their lives, from three Germans. Suddenly, as they were running, they see before them a well.
- Quickly, let’s hide in here, they say, and they jump into the well.
After 5 minutes the Germans arrive and stand over the well.
- Oh No! We're goners. In order not to be revealed, the only thing we can do is listen to what they say and make an echo. That way they’ll believe that the well is empty, said the Pontians.
Finally they agree to do it. So the first German starts speaking:
- Where did they go? Did they go to the mountains?
And the first Pontian says:
- Did they go to the mountains, mountaiiinnns?
The second German says:
- Did they enter the well?
And the second Pontian says:
- Did they enter the well, the weeelllll?
And the third German says:
- Let's drop a grenade to make sure!
And the third Pontian says:
- Nah, they probably went to the mountaiiinnns!
Joke 5
A Pontian is standing on a rooftop of a six-storey building. Suddenly he looked down and saw a man who looked like an ant. He took the stairs down to the 6th floor and saw him a bit greater. This continued until he finally came all the way down to the ground floor where he saw a normal man. The Pontian went to him, hugged him and kissed him. The man was surprised and so he asked:
- What's up dude you know me?
- Hey! Of course I know you, from when you even looked like a tiny baby.
A Pontian, an American and a Frenchman, escaped from prison. While they were running they found themselves in a forest and so each one of them climbed up a tree to hide. Three officers arrived searching the woods and stood under the tree that the Frenchman had climbed and said:
- We know you're up there, come on down.
The Frenchman quickly thinks and says:
- Tweet, Tweet, Tweet.
The police think "it’s a bird" and go to the tree where the American had climbed and say:
- We know you're up there, come on down.
The American too quickly thinks and says:
- Gouou, Gouou, Gouou.
The police think "it’ s an Owl" and go to the tree where the Pontian was.
Again they say:
- We know that you're there, come on down.
The Pontian thinks for a while. . . and says:
- Meeeee, Meeeee, Meeeee.
A German, a Frenchman and a Pontian fall in the land of the Zulus. They are told:
- Choose the way you want to die. With a shotgun or the guillotine?
The German says:
- I choose the guillotine to find out how it feels like.
The Zulu place him under the guillotine, the blade drops and half a millimeter before reaching his head, it stops. All amazed, the Zulu said.
- He must be a God! They give him gifts, they worship him etc.
The Frenchman thinks: "Maybe I too will stand as lucky" and thus he chooses the guillotine too. Once again the blade stops before his head. The Zulus call him God, they give gifts to him, they worship him etc.
Then they ask the Pontian:
- What do you want? The guillotine or the shotgun?
And Pontian says:
- Go fetch the shotgun because this sh@t is broken.
How do Pontians open the doors?
Normally, like everyone else. All the nonsense of the world doesn’t have to be made by Pontians!
What does a Pontian do when his wife gives birth to twins?
He starts looking for the father of the other child to kill him!
Why do Pontians celebrate only their sons birthdays rather than their daughters? As the song says happy birthday to you (you sounds like [γιου], in greek it means son).
How did the last Pontian footballer die???????
He got burned warming up..!!!
A Pontian gets a job at a supermarket. A customer approaches him and says:
- Please give me a quarter of that salami.
The Pontian begins to cut one slice after another without stopping.
- What are you doing, I said cut a quarter, not all of it!
- What are you talking about? Replied the Pontian, You’ve asked for a quarter and yet, five minutes haven’t even gone by!
Why do pontians look out the window every time lightning flashes?
Because they think that God is taking pictures of them.
Why do pontians leave the door open when they go to toilet?
So no one peeps through the keyhole.
Why do Pontians shave at the basement?
To shave deeply!
How did the last Pontian karate master die?
Instead of Karate he said Varate (The Greek meaning of Varate “βαράτε” is hit me)
How did the first Pontian stingy die? From a heart attack because he dropped five cents in the sewer. And the second Pontian stingy? From suffocation searching the sewer to find the lost five cents. And the third? From his joy because he found the lost five cents.
